you know?

you know that sick feeling you get
when you love some one but they dont love you in return?
that feeling like you hate them so much... but you love them so much more?
that feeling that just makes you break down and just want to die?
you know... how you love someone so much it hurts?
that feeling you get when you realize how much you love that one person... but can never have them?
that pain in your heart when you realize that it will never work out?
.....
do you know the feeling of hanging on when there is nothing left?
that feeling of just watching that person walk away?
.....
that feeling of just... sitting alone. in the dark.
that feeling of being alone...
when it gets hard to breath.
when it gets hard to live.
when it just hurts so much you rather be dead?
...
when you see them walk away.
when you see them love another.
when you see them not care anymore....
when you cant see them anymore...
and feeling where it all falls apart.
when life is at its lowest and you just want to disappear...
well guess what.
im going to disappear... forever.
maybe that feeling will go away...

you know?

mmmm... you're a whore :D

so.
moment i leave
"LETS ALL STRIP :D"
so all my hard work of making you a better person...
just disappeared...
thanks for WASTING my time....
i can tell that you really really loveD me...
but love doesnt end.
its either you still love them or you never did
and sadly..
i still love you.
and sometimes.....
i hate myself for it.
FML



-
love sick.

well...

its been a while since i have been on. i am sorry :/
a lot has happened as you can tell....
umm lets see
what have i done since the break up.
i went out and bought a motorcycle (ninja)
im very excited.
you are probably asking "why did your buy a motorcycle nick?"
well you see,
i just thought that so many things reminded me about her... i needed something new.
i needed a change.
so(:
motorcycle it is :D
i've been working a lot lately. very busy.
my little bro jason is depressed. and my little sister hope is in denial but its okay.
i am trying my best to help them through everything.
hmmm
nothing much happened and there is nothing really to talk to.
oh! i watched inception, salt and despicable me :D
i have to say. inception was amazing.
salt was okay.
and despicable me was cute(:
yes
to all the macho men out there
i said cute.
get over it -_-"


hmm
well until next time.
-
Recovering.

....

... its over...

it was just out of no where...

we were perfectly fine... then she just ended it.....

it hurts so much... there is no purpose in life anymore...

i cant feel anything... im going numb... i ran out of tears....

it hurt... it hurt so much more then anyone can imagine.

I DONT CARE

FUCK YOU
FUCK THIS
FUCK EVERYTHING
i am tired of this shit
i am tired of all of this.

but whatever you know. cause its my job to make you happy. and i have done EVERYTHING to make you happy. for once. can i be happy? just for one. little. tiny. moment. can i have a turn at being happy?

try harder

everyone needs to try harder.
but if you dont try at all
then shut the fucking hell up.
because instead of yelling and being mad at other for "not trying" look in the mirror.

-
pissed

plans ruined?

see i knew my girlfriend really really wanted to see this movie. so i ordered the tickets and i was going to take her out to see it on out anniversary. the day BEFORE our anniversary she goes to see it with her sister....

guess what i did today? i didnt spend time with my girlfriend. i sat at home bored instead of go to work.
i ripped up those tickets and told myself that im an idiot.

and now i am pissed as fuck.
great day.