...great

sigh... today.
sooooo much drama.
sigh.
i know my girlfriend is trying. but... sigh idk. i am probably just being an asshole.

you know... it just feel like i have been doing all the work

i finally... i finally told her how i felt...
i told it to her... and in the process... i hurt her
sigh
i made her cry. i hurt her. i feel like a jerk...
but she had to know...i couldn't just keep sitting here and watching her walk down some path of no return

sigh. i have no clue anymore. i know i love her... but sigh
life is just so complicated right now.
life... life is just... a hole... and you fill it up with what ever you want.

and i just...its getting so hard for me to breath.its like... everywhere i look...something just want to hurt me... some thing always wants to just tear me down. you have no clue how hard i have been trying to keep it all together. family. friends. relationships. sigh.

i know i shouldn't have said some of the things i did... but you know what?... if it helps. then fine.
she needed to get the message and i hope she did.

i know she is hurting. i know she is in pain. but everyone else is to. and you know what? we are all still trying. we are all still working our butts off to try to make everything alright. and if just one person, just one, doesn't try... then it will never work.

life in its self is a challenge. and we have to step up and do our part.
yeah.
life is full of crap. but you know what? deal. tough. sorry but you still have to get up and work.
sitting there wont do anything. ignoring the problem will definitely do nothing. so you know what?

get your lazy butt off the ground and run your self down the road of life and never stop. . . one you do stop. . . then its over. you can slow down and enjoy life... but never stop. stopping is for quitters. and quitters never make it in life.

i know i sound mean. i know i sound like a complete jerk. but you know what?
you had to know. you have to open your eyes and look in the mirror.
you had to relize that you are not only hurting yourself... you are hurting me... you are hurting everyone
you dont have to talk to me. you dont have to tell me everything.
i just want you to know
you cant just be a wuss and just sit there and expect everyone to do the job for you.


i am sorry... but THATS LIFE.